Dasvidaniya? Oh well...
Now that it's over and done with, it feels strange.
Once the dust has settled, there will be the big question. 'Now what?'. Oh and there's that credit card bill to pay.
A curious mix of feelings this is. There's the overwhelming sense of freedom, of being unrestrained, of having broken shackles. There's a sense of disgust at the way things turned out. There's some sadness about all the hope and faith that more or less came to naught, and about plans that stand radically altered. There is a fizzy, dizzy sense of excitement about the future. This way or that, these are going to be very interesting times. There's a feeling of gratitude, for the fact that I could actually afford to something as stupid as this, for great friends and a wonderfully brave family. There's a hint of discomfort, an uneasy apprehension, of the future. And of that credit card bill that has to be paid. But it will be fine in the end. Jugaad ho jaayega.
Then there's the pride. Fierce, overpowering. I feel good about myself.
And there's the sense of determination. To do well, to succeed. To prove, over everyone else, to that one skeptical part of my own brain, that it was the right thing to do. There's a sense of ownership that a job, however entrepreneurial it might claim to be, can't rival.
It feels strange that so much is just the same, and yet so much has changed. Overnight.
I don't know yet, how I am supposed to react when I'm being congratulated for quitting my job. Strange times these are.
But it feels good.
1 Response to Dasvidaniya? Oh well...
well...May you live in interesting times!
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