I am not a big fan of cricket. (Any sport that can not be enjoyed without commentary is not worthy of time).

And I am an even lesser fan of Dada. Yes, we had the Bengali chaps on campus who once wrote a Bhajan for Dada and composed it as a rock song. But that's all.

And yet, my heart reaches out to him.

Because I know that sick feeling, that hollowness in the tummy that comes from getting out on the first ball. After waiting it out patiently, fielding in the deep, chatting with grasshoppers, far away from where the action is. Dropping the lone catch that comes around once in three innings, being accused of being talentless by 'friends'. Worse, being called lazy and lethargic. Worse still, being called an Azharuddin-who-can't-even-field ('Azhar' was a pretty potent expletive only a few years back).

After all that misery, sitting by the gutter, watching more talented chaps crack fours and sixes, willing my own team members to get out so I could bat and justify my very existence. Silently cheering every time a wicket fell, sitting around with a sullen expression, distraught at coming one wicket closer to defeat. But overjoyed at coming one wicket closer to bat.

After all that endless, bottomless misery, finally holding the bat in my hands. Feeling revitalized, strong, powerful, determined. Determined to pulverise every bowling attack to dust. Dreaming about hitting the winning runs (tail-enders in weak batting line-ups occasionally get that privilege), and being carried off the field by overjoyed 15-year olds. Wondering how does a reverie fit into a crucial moment like this, shaking myself out of it, realizing it is probably slightly late, swinging that bat nevertheless. And hearing something shatter a few inches behind me.

That disgusting, sinking feeling.

It is cruel enough, hard enough on someone to get out on the first ball. And it is miserable, deathly to get out on the first ball in your last innings in Test cricket.

I think everyone who gets out for less than 15 in their last test innings should be given 'double batting'.